Credits to Anon423 for the translations (ULMF post)
Dan: Fuuaaahh... So much free time. Guard duty is so boring. I bet Prince is fighting with some strong monsters right now.
Leeanne: Don't say such stupid things. We are entrusted with guarding the Aigis Shrine while Prince is away. This is a matter of utmost importance!
Dan: Yeah, even if you say so, there's still too much time, my skills are getting rusty... Isn't there some ridiculously powerful enemy somewhere nearby?
Soldier: --- U-urgent news, Dan-san! A large flock of monsters is pushing towards the shrine! And almost all of them are impossibly strong!!
Dan: W-w-w-what?! Hey, h-hey, Prince is away now! Shit, are you saying we have to handle all of this on our own?
Soldier: Haha, just kidding! Dan-san, you were looking so bored, so I decided to pull a prank on you.
Dan: Good nerve tricking me like that...
Soma: Dan-san, it's not good to get angry like that. Besides, since today is April Fool's Day, it's a suitable day to tell some lies.
Keraunos: Fufufu, now that Prince is away, it's a good time to attack the Aigis Shrine. I've brought lots of strong monsters specially for this day. Everyone, go and kill and destroy everything mercilessly, as much as you want!
Soldier: R-r-reporting! Enemy attack! Goddess whoever she is... Keru..Kere...Keraunos appeared near the Shrine! Majins and Oni are also there!
Dan: Yeah, yeah, got it. Go tell Mortimer such dump jok... Holy shit, it's real! What do we do?!
Daniela: Seems like she aimed for Prince's absence... But even if Prince was here, fighting a Goddess, Majins and Shuten Douji all at same time is hopeless...
Ricardo: But if the Shrine is destroyed, it would mean the loss of Aigis' blessing. In that case, humans would lose the strength to fight the monsters! We should believe in a miracle and hold them off on our own!
Keraunos: Believe in a miracle? Fufufu, fuahahaa... Well, so be it. Go and die in an ugly manner while hoping for something from my powerless sister...
Valerie: Everyone, don't lose your hope! We still have a way to win, we can summon Aigis!
Alissa: Summoning Aigis-sama?!.. But where will we get the human to become her vessel? And there's no guarantee that it will even work...
Valerie: Well, that's true, but... Nah, forget it. For a human to become her vessel, it would mean that one has to lose their life. Let's do as Ricardo says and just make it somehow on our own.
Dan: (If there's a vessel, we can summon Aigis-sama... Well, so be it. Either way, I chose this path because I wanted to fight some strong enemies)
Dan: Sorry, everyone, start without me, I need to use the toilet.
Katie: What? What are you saying at such a time! Oh well, no time for Dan, everyone, get ready!
(Some time passes)
Katie: The Majins and the other strong enemies don't seem to have moved yet, but when they do, we can't hold them back. Was it really, a pointless fight from the very start...?
Goddess Aigis: Don't give up, humans. For now, I, Goddess Aigis, will lend you my power.
Alissa: A-Aigis-sama manifested in the real world? Awesome... Did such a miracle really happen? But didn't Aigis lose her physical body...?
Goddess Aigis: I'll explain later, for now we should focus on winning.
Katie: The power of revived Aigis-sama is enormous, now we should be able to deal with the Majins and Shuten Douji.
Katie: ...but with great power comes with a great unit cost. Everyone, we must focus on storing up enough unit points to put Aigis on the field!
Keraunos: I-impossible! Something like summoning Aigis!! However, to think they would sacrifice a human to achieve victory. So, Aigis, do you like the sweet taste of victory gained via human sacrifices?